It’s currently 6pm here in Syracuse NY. I’ve checked out of my hotel, had one of the best auditions of my life and I’m now wondering if I’ll be able to get on my flight to the city tonight.
It all started yesterday when I thought my flight was leaving at 6pm. I woke up around 5am with a weird feeling, I turned to check my phone and I saw 5 texts from my mother and 3 from my dad. To keep it short, I had to leave the house by 7:15am to catch a 10am flight to Atlanta Georgia to escape the wicked snow storm that was coming to Minneapolis. I wasn't home so I took a uber and packed in thirty minutes. I had my makeup on from the night before and was very much in need of a shower. My dad was also trying to escape the snow as he was flying out to Quito Ecuador for work (ironic I know) and we both managed to get on the 10am flight to Atlanta. Thank god I was with my papito. Anxiety was at a high as I was stressed about missing my hair appointment that I very much needed, and I just overall didn't feel prepared for my week full of auditions. If you know me, you know that spontaneity is definitely something I’m working on, so you can imagine my stress as I didn't have my usual 3 hour routine for packing. The cherry on top was my messed up coffee order. This is dramatic I know but no one can really make an iced dirty chai with oat milk and a shot of vanilla like RH Minneapolis can. So if you wanna try that sexy drink, hit me up because I just so happen to also WORK there....... No shame in plugging my overpriced job because I love it. Anyway, back on track. Through the craze of this all I realized how calming and important a good ol “safe travels” text from a friend means to me. The friends who remembered and reached out kept me grounded. So to the real ones, thank you. My beautiful friend Audrey got me an airplane necklace for my birthday and to say I’m obsessed would be an understatement. This necklace will never leave my body as I will continue to be brave this year and do much travel alone. Also the airport security guy confused me for a flight attendant because of it! LOL! I know I’m a baby but I definitely cried when I had to say bye to my papi in Atlanta because I was scared. I was scared to check into a hotel by myself and figure out all my audition legistices without the loving hugs I get from my family. The good thing is I brought my stuffed panda along with me for the ride, so I had no shame in taking her out of my backpack on the airplane. I needed to feel safe and for whatever reason the stuffed panda I’ve had since I was two, did just that. I bet many can relate to the feeling of stress and fear when you are walking on a tiny airplane and your suitcase keeps getting stuck as you attempt to trail it behind you. So picture teary eyed Ananda trying to squeeze her over packed suitcase through the aisle. Now picture a salty flight attendant lowkey scold me for having a big suitcase as it wasnt really fitting great in the overhead bin. He stressed me out, but that could also be because my anxiety was in full swing. Somehow I made it through that tiny flight, found my Uber and made it safely into my hotel room. I got a vegan salad, worked out, drank Kombucha, and went to BED.
This morning, I continued to live the solo life as I mentally and physically prepared for my audition. What am I auditioning for you ask? Sorry, can't tell you.... I don't want to jinx anything...
Today I felt calm in that audition room, because I realized something. Every audition is an opportunity to perform. I also don't have anything to lose anymore because if there is one thing this gap year has taught me its that no matter what, life goes on, and I will succeed. This gap year has given me so many opportunities. I fell in love (definitely a story for another time) I booked my first show at the Guthrie, I have an incredible job with many travel opportunities and I found my passion for the Arts again. It will never really feel the same though, because I don't have that innocence and belief that no matter what Broadway is within reach. I haven't given up, but I have faced reality a little more and realize that to be famous on Broadway doesn't happen to you just because you dream of it.
Now I’ve been sitting in this airport for 7 hours and I’m exhausted, if you facetime me, I apologize in advance for my attitude and if you text me with grammar or spelling notes @Luca I will steal all your favorite sweaters.
Let's hope they don't delay my fight a 6th time....
Love,
Ananda